ok, so u know that feeling when you think someone's mad at you, but you don't know why??? Well that's how I feel now. Mainly with one person, but kind of also with 2 other people. ... so thats not good. I currently am getting the impression that 3 people are mad/annoyed at me - does that just sound like I'm being paranoid to you? If anyone is mad at me, or if I have insulted, upset, pissed off etc anyone, please tell me!! Cos then maybe I could fix what I did, or offer an apology...
I feel lost. Do I have any true friends? Because I feel like there is noone I can talk to. And I know people are going to turn around and say that of course I can talk to them, but I don't know if I can - i mean, i can't just start talking to someone in that way, uninvited. And when I feel like I could/would talk to a friend, the timing never seems right. I'm surrounded by people all the time, but I have never felt more alone. I feel like the world is turning and I'm missing it all. Like there is something weighing me down or caging me in so that I can't live my life how I want it to be. Maybe it's my uncertainty, my lack of confidence, my inability to believe in myself, that’s holding me back? But how on Earth do I change that??? ... and people who notice that i have no confidence just say things like "think positive" , "believe in yourself" and "just go with the flow", "stop stressing" "don't worry - its alright" or "it will be fine".... but you know what? How can I just change the way I think? I have tried, but it's not something that you can just change like flicking a switch! They all make it sound so easy! And how can they say it's alright, when it's obviously not?
Wow. Big rant there. Sorry. I hope it wasn’t in bad taste.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
hey Em!! I had a friend say the exact same thing last night, and it was heaps depressing. Hopefully its just a displacement feeling due to being ripped out from school and thrust into the adult world of uni, where you hardly see the same person twice.
Have some hot chocolate, wrap up under a quilt and you'll feel much better!
i'm your only true friend. you should give me monehs. and tell me all your secrets/gossip.
in return, i will convince you that you need to piss everyone else off because they're stupid faces and look like monkeys.
and i empathise with how you feel about the whole alone thing.. but sometimes, it's better for you - so you don't regret saying something just because you're so upset.. coz you can't take knowledge back.
that's not to say don't talk becausee that'd be stupid.. but you know what i'm trying to say. actually you probably don't.. but meh. tis fun to rant on other's blogs.
go see someone who is trained in thought changing techniques if you want. they can actually be really helpful.
that or go see a psychic and make them tell you where your future is going so at least you sort of have an idea or something to aim towars hehe.
of course it won't be allright (does that help??)because something will always happen to ensure that you have some sort of stress... it's the whole what you make of it thing though.
i sound like an idiot. but i'm allowed to rant.
don't hold me to anything i've said (apart from i'm your true friend so give me monehs)
yep. opinionated. that's me.
feel bettererererr.
kara and Louise also say hi. :D
thanx juicy - you made me laugh. Cos there is absolutely no way i'll be giving you moneh cos I am POOR! lol. Or broke. Whatever. They are the same thing.
But psychologists (and the like) are like dettached from you, which can be good sometimes I suppose, but sometimes its almost as if they dont care about you, they just want to make money. But I know what you mean… Hmmm...
Hi to Kara and Louise!!! hope you are all having fun! I ran 5kms today and i think that was a stupid idea (although I didn't collapse or feel like i was about to, so maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea after all?)
5 ks?!?!?!?!?!
clearly, you are insane.
why oh why would you punish yourself to that extent?? blog title is extremely appropriate you nutbag. heh.
and the psycho people (that's what we call 'em here in my family) can be so disinterested and rude. but then you get really good ones who actually teach things and they're worth it. Like the one i just discovered (through uni) is the bomb.
dettachment is good to some degree too.. coz they don't know the whole story they can't effectively judge you.
if you're struggling, know you're not alone. but seek help. - best advice anyone's given me.
But what i say effects me because i'm self-centred. it may not suit you or you may hate it. but you know whateverrrr. don't take my word for it.
bah.
i'm going to have a nap :D
5ks *shakes head*
you made me laugh again!! But kind words also make me want to cry... is that normal?
Multiple people have told me to get help, but i can't. I have tried *cough* (depends on what extent you would call ‘tried’). Actually I havn’t tried. I have avoided my doctor ever since...(not yet – later I promise)... well lets just say since last September when she tried to schedule me in for an appointment with psychologist/counsellor.
P.S. I'm not insane and i'm not nutbag - but i did need to 'punish' myself for being so darn LAZY for the past 3 months!!
Post a Comment